The Biggest Lie Women Believe

biggest lie
A few months ago, I was folding laundry scrolling through my Facebook feed when a post caught my attention. If:Gathering posed a question to women. What’s the biggest lie you have believed? They asked the community to then speak truth over those lies.

What is the biggest lie I have believed?

Easy. I was answering the question before I even finished reading it.

I’m not enough.

I was curious to see what others were posting, so I clicked to see more comments.

I couldn’t believe what I was seeing. 99.9% of the responses were some version of The Not Enough Lie.

I’m not good enough. Pretty enough. Skinny enough. Strong enough. Smart enough.

I’m not enough of a mom. Enough of a wife. Enough of a cook. Enough of a Christian.

I’m just not enough for my husband. My kids. My family. My God.

Y’all. What is happening here?

What is it about THIS particular lie that has such a hold over so many of us? Why is it so easy to believe? Why are we so struggling with this?

Well, let’s consider the source.

The father of lies, the enemy of our souls, is the one who keeps whispering this untruth in our ears. So. Many. Ears. It obviously must be incredibly important to him for a vast majority of women to struggle with this idea that we’re not enough. Because he is working so, so hard to make sure we all believe that we are, in some way or many ways, falling short of the bar.

Why? Why is this point so important to his plan?

Let’s imagine for a minute. What might look different in your life if you had the confidence of knowing (knowing knowing) you were enough?

If I was secure in the idea of being a good enough cook, I would bring more meals to people. If I was confident that my house was clean enough, I would have people over more often. If I knew I was enough of a mom, I would stop second-guessing my parenting and be more consistent. If I was sure I was enough of a wife, I would stop monitoring conversations with my husband, looking for criticisms that aren’t necessarily there. If I thought I was a good enough friend, I would reach out to be a friend to more people.

All of these results would be GOOD things. How much more often I would be showing love and grace and Jesus to the world around me!

So, of course, the enemy would want to shut that down immediately. And with the smallest of whispers in my ear, I begin to slip down the slippery slope of doubt.

Trying to regain my footing, I start looking around. My house sure isn’t as clean as hers. I don’t cook as many organic meals as she does. She is so much more patient with her kids.

Comparison just makes me slip even farther and faster into The Not Enough Lie.

We will never measure up because the bar doesn’t exist. We invented it ourselves.


If we were sitting across the table from one another right now, talking over coffee, and I heard you speak these doubts out loud? I would reach over and grab your hands. I would look you straight in the eye. I would remind you who you are.

You are exactly who you were created to be.

You were designed, from the beginning of time, to be the exact wife/mom/sister/friend your people need you to be.

You are more than enough. You are incredibly, vitally important to this crazy world.

Give your thoughts. Share your ideas. Tell your stories. We need them.

Friends. Let’s promise each other to speak truth over The Not Enough Lie.

When you hear it lurking just beyond a friend’s words in a conversation, call it out and send it off. Speak truth for your friend.

When it creeps up behind you and you feel yourself starting to slip down that slope, call it out and send it off. If you need help doing that, ask for it. Connect with a friend. You would be happy to do it for her and she is happy to do it for you.

Let’s pledge to be gentle with each other and with ourselves. Let’s take down that imaginary standard of awesomeness we chase so hard. Let’s go out into our places with the confidence that we are enough. Because we are, y’all.

We are enough.

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