I tend to be a little cautious (okay a lotta cautious) when it comes to the kids taking risks. It stems from the early days when the risks were actually fairly risky. I’ve had to make a serious effort to let go and let them get a little crazy. I’ve been working and working on myself when it comes to this issue and I’m getting better, y’all, I am. Slowly but surely.

So we went to our friends’ house on Saturday and when Caleb ran outside to play, I had to bite my lip to not give crazy helicopter mom instructions. So much progress has been made. He’s not a flight risk anymore. LET IT GO, WOMAN.

So when the kids came in to say that Caleb had fallen off the zip line and hurt his foot, I again bit my lip and did not freak out. He had been having tons of fun doing regular ol’ stuff. And I love that.

We both have come a long, long way.

So. Anyway. Caleb was having tons of fun doing 9-year-old boy stuff when he fell and hurt his foot. We thought he might have broken one of the little bones in there so I took him in for X-rays today.

The results?

Turf toe.

The doctor took tons of time with him and explained the injury. Turf Toe – it really is a whole thing. He said it was like when football kickers kick the ball but miss and kick the turf instead. Basically it’s a Charlie Brown toe. A sprained big toe.

But Caleb really liked the term Turf Toe.

We stopped at Publix on the way home and he milked it for alllll it was worth. A seriously impressive professional milking of the situation.

He declined the offer to ride on the end of the buggy and instead hobbled around with lots of wincing and heavy sighs, talking about his turf toe very loudly just in case any sympathetic soul might have been listening.

He decided the BOGOs on italian ice and chocolate chip waffles would help.so.much because TURF TOE.

He told the cashier he had to go home and (WinceSigh) relax because TURF TOE.

Hey you kids walking by in the dairy section, be careful of sweaty hands and zip lines because TURF TOE.

He is hysterical. And totally fine. Or at least he was fine once he got into the italian ice. We both were.

So if you haven’t heard our big news yet, we’re moving! Jake got a job offer from a big hospital and I’m freaking out trying to imagine moving all our craziness to a whole new state.

It helps my sanity when I trick myself into thinking I have some tiny bit of control over something. So I have been living on Trulia.com lately and doing a lot of long distance house hunting. Which is a very weird experience. This morning, I realized that it’s an awful lot like online dating. Or at least how I imagine online dating would be because I’ve been married since the internet was in diapers. Here are five ways I imagine house hunting is like online dating…

1. First impressions are everything.
It takes two seconds to look at a profile pic and decide to swipe right or left. Now I know there’s more to true love than just curb appeal. It’s what’s on the inside that counts, after all. But if the main picture on your profile is a Google satellite image, I don’t trust you.

2. People lie.
If it seems too good to be true, it is. I wish it weren’t but it just is. With just a few extra minutes of internet snooping, you can usually weed out the liars. A quick Facebook search can easily out the “bachelor” who is actually married with three kids. In much the same way, a quick google image search using the profile picture of that gorgeous and unbelievably affordable house will show ads for that same house in Alabama, Missouri, Wisconsin, and New York. Ugh. People are mean.

3. Sometimes the timing just doesn’t work out.
You finally find the perfect thing. Close by, loves dogs, and very good-looking. You work up the courage to take a chance and reach out only to find that someone else got there first. And your house is riding off into the sunset with someone else. Like mama always said, the right thing at the wrong time is still the wrong thing. Sigh.

4. You send in your wingman to check them out.
Everything looks good on paper but because of those aforementioned reasons up there, I have a few trust and commitment issues. So I call my best friend and ask her to spy because there’s got to be something wrong with this one. Seems very attractive and established. Looks strong. What are they hiding? Is there a funky smell or squirrels in the attic? My wingman will take one for the team and report back.

5. Love at first sight is totally a thing.
I have completely fallen in love based on an online profile. I find myself checking in from time to time just to drool over the pictures once again. It’s a little out of my league but I’m still stupidly optimistic. I try to guard my heart because I know how disappointing it will be if it doesn’t work out but my hopes are already way up there. I’ve already mentally moved in and redecorated. I’m nervous to meet in person because I really hope they like us, too.

*****Update***** We just got word that we’re one of three finalists for a house. Total confirmation that it is EXACTLY like online dating. We just received a rose and now it’s time for a hometown date or a renters-tell-all or something. Sigh.

So what do you think? Have you ever had to search for a new home (or friend) online? How did it go??